“Laip sab chiak, laip sab tua” is directly translated from Hokkien into “rubbish eat, rubbish grow.” But the meaning is more profound; it means “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” like the BCG vaccination. (Why you copy us, Kelly Clarkson?) You take in some germs to prevent getting the disease. Which is our philosophy on food. If the food kills you, it means you probably shouldn’t be a hunter in the first place. (Gatherer still wanna pretend to be hunter.) But if it is cooked and still kills you, let us know so we won’t try that dish.
We are a community-based food blog, that is, we represent Singapore from all walks of life: our reviewers range from a gay lorry-driving ah beng to a man-eating female heterosexual engineer; from an angmoh hit-and-run foreign talent to a humble PRC construction worker. We are Malay, Indian, Chinese and Others. As such, we don’t discriminate food from hawker centers and fancy restaurants. Food doesn’t differentiate between age, gender, race, class and sexuality and we as food reviewers shouldn’t too. There is no moral or immoral food; there is only good or bad food.
Rating: Ratings are based on a few categories, such as quality of food, taste of food, service, etc.
0.000-2.499 – Fail/ will close shop soon.
2.500-2.999 – Fair
3.000-3.499 – Good
3.500-3.999 – Excellent
4.000-5.000 – Ambrosia
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For invites, media tastings, advertorials and sponsorship, please email RubbishEatRubbishGrow@gmail.com.
Disclaimer for invited tastings, events and products: Unless it is a sponsored review (which we will state clearly in the entry), we will not guarantee that we will write a review of the restaurant or product. Even if we write about it, we reserve the right to be honest and fair. Our loyalty is with readers, not food companies. For tastings, we go in pairs because we believe in balancing our views.
Wise Guy: Main contributor. Wise Guy is a nick taken from the Godfather movies, because, like the Mafia, Wise Guy is a gay lorry-driving ah beng who is in a bromance with 14K, a straight ah beng.
14K: Eating companion of Wise Guy. 14K is a straight ah beng when sober. When he is drunk, any ho goes — and he gets drunk pretty often, thanks to Wise Guy’s instigation.
Huccalily: Wise Guy‘s good friend. A pendulous breasted prostitute who moonlights as an engineer by day. She is an Sarong Party Girl who refuses to admit it because admitting is the first of 12-step recovery and she doesn’t want to recover from her addickion of white meat.
Miss Atas: Wise Guy‘s frenemy and childhood neighbor. Grew up in a poor family, she despises all poor food and “low-class” places. She is agro, pretentious, cheap, pretends to be of a better class than she comes from, and bimbotic. Everyone loves her. She’s insecure of her mixed racial heritage living in a Chinese-dominated Singapore, and hence she hangs out with Chinese friends. Her characteristics include trying to speak with an American accent and hating Huccalily for fighting over Indian men. Like Huccalily denying her taste for white meat, Miss Atas denies that she is a Sari Party Girl. However, while Huccalily is blatantly slutty, Miss Atas pretends to be demure. Miss Atas has been a virgin several times.
Gopal: Boyfriend of Ms Atas. Originally from Chennai, India, he migrated to Australia at 16 years old. Ms Atas likes to call him her “Australian” boyfriend. His characteristics include using bombastic words and inability to pronounce the “z” sound. For instance, “zebra crossing” will become “jibra crotching.”
Saliva Ionescu: A long time flirtation of Huccalily. Saliva Ionescu is a white man who thinks he’s superior to the locals and begins his sentence with, “I’ve traveled the world and Singaporeans are the worst ____” or “I know SIngapore’s standards are bad, but even by Singapore’s standard, this restaurant’s service is atrocious.” Despite his rude attitude, service staff usually acknowledge him first. In fact, Singaporeans let him get away with murder.
Mr NGFL: acronym for Nice-Gay-Finish-Lust. Wise Guy‘s only gay friend. A decent, well-balanced and knowledgable man but unlucky in love.
ChioBu/Sister: Educated sister of Wise Guy.
Ah Bang: Malay counterpart to Wise Guy. Mr NGFL and Ah Bang are the only sane people in the group. Wise Guy and Ah Bang knew each other in poly but Wise Guy dropped out while Ah Bang went on to be a famous journalist. Ah Bang is a vegetarian Muslim, sometimes.
Mao Mao: Nicknamed taken from this entry. Mao Mao, a PRC construction worker whom Wise Guy knows from his lorry transport jobs, can only afford hawker fare. Pressurized to get married, Mao Mao escaped to Singapore from China because he has issues with his sexuality. He believes that he’s gay but years of brainwashing by a certain religion and from societal pressure have left him confused and bisexual. Thus, he’s still an ongoing virgin, soon to be 40 years old. To improve his English, Mao Mao decides to contribute to the blog.